Posts tagged ‘Neville Moore’

September 20th, 2012

A Way Out

If Helen had been smarter, she might have realized that an exclusive foreign girls’ school with a tradition of Corporal Punishment and a male Deputy Head is not the best place to go tempting fate.

By Neville Moore

There had to be a way out of this. There just had to.

Helen Novak had just spent the last three minutes pacing about the dormitory like a caged animal, twisting her light blonde hair between her fingers in a crescendo of anxiety. Every so often she would pause and look around her, as if to reassure herself that everything – the furniture, the freshly cut flowers, the clothes slung carelessly over the backs of chairs, the various souvenirs of her absent room-mate, Sylvia, who had gone away for the weekend – was still in its place, unchanged, in spite of the bombshell that had just fallen out of the sky into the placid routine of her existence. Once only she had stopped abruptly, laughed nervously to herself, and muttered: “I’m dreaming this!” The sunlight through the window and the carefree song of birds outside seemed to agree; in such a peaceful and civilized world as this, schoolgirls – even those attending exclusive private boarding-cum-day schools in foreign countries, with dormitories daily cleaned by a flunky – just could not be subjected to cruel physical tortures hypocritically justified as ‘punishments’. It just didn’t happen. This was the twenty-first century, for God’s sake!

August 12th, 2012

Images to Tipping the Waitress

A collection of forty-eight images created by Neville Moore to illustrate his recently published story ‘Tipping the Waitress’.

We thought they were so good they deserved to have a slot of their own.

July 30th, 2012

Tipping the Waitress

A Spanish girl gets into hot water for spilling soup on a customer.

by Neville Moore

Date: 07 June 1993

From: Sam Salzenberg <>

To: Matthew Brock <>

Subject: Spanish Report #1 (FYEO!)

Hi Matt,

Thought I’d drop you a line to keep you posted on events here on the Spanish trip. I suppose the executive summary would be in the area of pretty good. Segurasa went without a hitch – they lapped up my presentation, and bought the whole package, lock stock and barrel. But the big fish, as you know, is the Spanish government contract. I’m meeting a high-level official tomorrow for lunch in Madrid, so I guess there’ll be some news to report tomorrow evening. For now, I thought I’d let you know why I had to reschedule last evening’s two appointments. Not because it makes a whole lot of difference to the big picture, but because it’s a darn funny story. So pull up a chair and remember this is FYEO.

July 22nd, 2012

Here Comes Daffy (now with two illustrations by the author)

A socially inept youth on a work experience scheme witnesses something he shouldn’t.

By Neville Moore

“Uh-oh!” Wendy, peering around the kitchen door, felt the need to alert the companions behind her; a shadow had just passed the netted window of the dining room, through which a watery morning sun’s rays were shining. “Here comes Daffy!” Sue and Jennifer winced. A moment later, the door to the small dining room opened silently and a lugubrious presence wafted across the room, through another door, and came to rest in the centre of the kitchen.

“Erm… tea?” It said in a sepulchral voice. “Any going?”

Sue sighed, poured a cup and held it out to Daffy. “Thanks,” said the new arrival. “Cold out, ey.”

July 14th, 2012

In Loco Parentis (with illustration)

An Oxford student opts for extreme measures to salvage her relationship with her tutor. By a new writer to us.

By Neville Moore

Michelle placed her empty teacup on the floor and leaned confidentially towards her friend. “OK, let me get this straight, Angela,” she said. “You’re telling me Fergus is history – well, there’s a surprise, I don’t think. Seriously, Angie, anyone could see that coming a mile off. That guy was bad news from the word go. So if you’re not celebrating now, take it from me, you soon will be – good bloody riddance is the phrase that comes to mind. Point one. Point two. You have a tutorial with Kellers tomorrow afternoon, and you haven’t done the work. OK, that’s a problem. But really, get a grip, Angela: they’re not going to throw you out of Oxford for missing one tutorial. It’s hardly going to…”